Happy Birthday Shin!

To the world, you're Rachelle Ann Go, multi-awarded performer, Ultimate Champion. To us, you're Shin Shin, the most unassuming, really talented, really cool, and really sweet girl. May the Good Lord continue to shower you with His abundant blessings because you deserve it all.

I love you and I will always be here for you.

HAPPY 23RD BIRTHDAY SHIN SHIN! ♥

Resignation

I have finally decided to resign.

I was making a long resignation letter with all the drama in it, but I changed my mind. I just made a short resignation letter expressing my gratitude to everyone in the company, and that I will be leaving 30 days from now. I wanted to tell them the reasons why I'm resigning, but I decided against it. I want to leave without leaving any negativity behind.

*sigh*

I hope I can find a new home soon, a new start. It's not easy especially that the company I'm in now is so near our place, that I can leave the house ten minutes before my time and I still will not be late.

Good things never really last.

Leaving

This is getting worse. REALLY WORSE.

One of my teammates was suspended and will possibly be terminated because out of curiousity, he peeked into the account of our CEO. Well, not really our CEO, but the CEO of our account, our client. It was just a harmless peek on a really boring day at work, but for the client, it was a breach of security and professionalism. They sent an investigator, a former cop, from the States to come here and investigate my poor colleague. He was told that he will be suspended for five days, and the investigation will continue so he was asked to turn over his company phone and ID. Termination is very much possible after the suspension, and I feel really bad for him. He's like the best in our team in everything, and everyone, especially me, looks up to him. He's now using his free time to look around for other options, the same thing I had been doing for the past months. Just in case he won't get terminated, I think the damage has been done and knowing him, I think he will be resigning instead.

Almost everyone I'm close with in the company either has left or is leaving very soon. Three former teammates of mine were transferred to the other account only to be terminated the other day for not being able to pass the certification. A fourth former teammate who was with the group is resigning this week. In our team now, people are also leaving or has left, and two of my closest will leave this coming week. One will have her last day tomorrow and the other will have already resigned next week.

*sigh*

All I see are strangers, no more familiar faces. This is no longer the office I used to call home. WE used to call home.

Manage.. er...

The only things allowed on the production floor at work are jackets (or sweaters), spill-proof mugs, and hard candies. Any other things are a no-no on the floor, especially pens, pouches and papers. Even wallets, those big ones, are not allowed.

Every shift, I'm known by my officemates to bring a few candies which I always put on the left side of my station while my mugs (I have two) are at the right. I'm kinda O.C. so everything is always in place. That has been ever since I started working here a year and three months ago.

Until last night.

The office, or at least some of the managers, have this habit of cramming. They are more reactive than proactive. And because there are clients who will be visiting the office on Tuesday and Wednesday, the managers, or we call them TLs although they don't really function as a TL because first and foremost, they don't have teams, they're called as such but their function is more on the operations side of production, did a cramming floor-sweep. The cleaned the production floor from all the papers, clutters, lost mugs, and other stuff. It was okay, that's their job although if you ask me, they should be more proactive and do the floor sweep everyday or regularly so as not to panic and cram if there are visitors. That's the Filipino side of this American company.

What irked me is that while they were sweeping, one of the TLs went to my station, pointed at my candies, just said "candies" and wrote something on her notebook. I asked, "are these not allowed?" and she said, "no".

Huh?

All of a sudden, something's not allowed, we're not informed about it, and we get punished. Informing concerned personnel is one of the easiest jobs for higher management, yet they still cannot do it well. Or should I say, they cannot do it, period.

I am expecting my name and my "offense" to be included in an email sent to all management officers today, and frankly, I don't care. I've come to a point where I just don't give a damn anymore. I am sorry if I expected too much from our managers. Coming from an institution and a company that had the best managers, I expected too much from this company.

Don't get me wrong. I love the company still. I just hate the account, and I hate a lot of the managers in this account. Most of them got their jobs because of their tenure or because they know to kiss the right asses. They're too young to have real experiences as real managers.

*sigh*

Missing Shin Shin

A couple of weeks from now will be the birthday of a big star, a great singer and the best friend, Rachelle Ann Go.

I feel so gifted and blessed to have this lovely girl in my life as a friend and as one of my singing idols. The last time we saw each other was five months ago but it seems years. I could never get enough of Shin Shin, especially that our time together has always been limited. How great it would be to maybe go on vacation together, but that's far-fetched because of how busy she is with her career. She could be busier if only VIVA and ABS-CBN would give her the projects that she deserves. It's so sad to know that even in show business, there is politics and favoritism. I don't even want to start because I know a lot about it and I have a lot to say about it. *sigh*

There are A LOT of things I want to say about her so I will be writing more about her in my coming blogs, maybe during her birthday week.

Speaking of writing, I still haven't finished my letter for her. Since I won't be able to join her birthday party this year, our friends asked me to write a letter for her instead. I have so much to say, but somehow, I'm having a difficult time writing everything down. I will finish this letter tomorrow since it's my day off. I have to, her birthday is coming up fast.

I wanted to post a video of Shin Shin singing, but for some reason, Blogspot or YouTube is not allowing me to do so, so hopefully next time.

Fool's Meal

And tonight it begins...

In two hours, my rest days end and I will be going back to war.. er.. work. Pressure and stress once again will be all over me, and this time, there is another factor that's going to try and put me down. It's called hunger.

I will be going back to work tonight with so little left in my coin purse. I have ten days left before the next payday and I have to budget my money if I want to survive until the 25th. Starting tonight, I will be bringing rice from the house and then during lunch breaks in the office, I will be eating the rice with just a sauce. Yes, sauce. It's a product I saw when I went to the grocery yesterday. It's just a sauce which you can put all over your rice and imagine you're eating rice with a viand. Yes, imagine. I've always had a very colorful and vivid imagination, and these times will be the perfect moments to use it.

Rice and sauce only until at least the next payday. If I'll be lucky enough to finally have my bonus back, then well and good so I would be able to eat well again. If not, then I will have to continue my sacrifice.

No, this is not a choice. Don't have one in the first place.

What pay?

Today is pay day and while everyone else is rejoicing, I'm not. Well, not just me but a few others. The reasons are our FA's or Focus Alerts from the office, the written warning thingie. Having one will mean you're disqualified from receiving any bonuses you may have worked your butt off and earned. Great.

Now I will have to survive with the free Milo, Coffee and Iced Tea in the office until the next pay day which I'm not sure if I will receive a bonus because of the two final written warnings I got last week. Super. Now if anyone can just strangle me until I stop breathing, that would be very much appreciated.

*sigh*

Busy Saturday

I slept the whole afternoon yesterday and woke up at around 1:30 AM. I wasn't able to sleep anymore since today is going to be a busy, busy day.

I will take my daughter to school for her examination review, then hopefully I will have a haircut, before going home to rehearse a few songs. Around lunch time, I will be attending a wedding where I will be singing during the pictorials, then proceed to the reception at the biggest hotel in Cebu to sing again. I hope my partner is already well with her cough and colds because I really want to sing with her. I have been singing all my life and I'm most comfortable sharing the stage with someone else rather than going solo as what I've mostly done. Speaking of sharing the stage, I so miss singing with my sis for weddings. She's got a life of her own now with work and graduate studies so I'm left all alone for the wedding gigs.

And yes, after the reception later, I will be going back to work. The work I thought I left behind last Thursday. Hopefully, there will be developments about our transfer soon.

Pffft...

My first day of training for our new account, the first day of my new start. I arrived at the office 45 minutes early, fully dressed-up. It has been a while since we had a dress-up at the office, and it was so nice to see my new batchmates, people who's also transferring, all dressed-up, eager and so excited to start anew.

And then the news.

We were made to gather at the office's lounge and were informed that the training is cancelled. Not only that, our supposed transfer to the other account is cancelled. The TL who informed us said that that's the only thing higher management told her, and we will just be informed for further development. We were to go back to our "old jobs" starting tomorrow.

Pffft!

Higher management just popped our balloons.

There goes the new start, just like that.

*sigh*

OMG!

This is from the issue of the Manila Bulletin today. This is so messed up. A really OMG moment.

New Start

Everything happened so fast. I'm still very emotional about everything that happened. Okay. Let me breath. In. Out. In. Out.

I'm kinda okay now.

Yesterday, when I was depressed that I will be losing my job, a blessing came. No, it was not from another company but from the same company I'm in now. I was asked if I'm interested to transfer to the other account immediately. Am I interested? Of course! I was even planning on resigning and finding another company. How happy I am to have a fresh start with the same company I've been with for more than a year.

And then it slowly sunk in. I will be leaving my team, my friends, people I spend 9.5 hours five days a week. Damn.

We will start our training tomorrow. I hope everything will be okay tomorrow.

To Err is Human

The past two days, I have signed two final written warnings and had a hearing last night with my immediate supervisor and two people from HR. My employment in this company is on the line. Another lapse on my part, one more failure in my quality scores would mean automatic termination. That's how harsh the penalty is.

Last night's shift was like the beginning of the end for me. I wish I have another job to go to so I can just leave this and move on. Two of my closest teammates already submitted their resignation letters and is on the final days of their career here. I have to work double time to find another career option fast so I too can submit my resignation letter. My other option is to my best in each and every call so I would not get a single markdown and therefore not jeopardize my job. The only problem is that I have to be perfect in my calls for a 12-week rolling period, meaning I am not allowed to commit a mistake in the next months or else, I would be terminated. Though it can be done, I don't think I can do it. I am only human.

I Have Fallen in Love

One of my favorite songs by Jose Mari Chan, it was actually a poem Ninoy Aquino wrote for his wife, Cory. Now they are together in the place called Forever...

I have fallen in lovewith the same woman three times;

In a day spanning 19 yearsof tearful joys..and joyful tears.

I loved her first when she was young,enchanting and vibrant, eternally new..

she was brilliant, fragrant,and cool as the morning dew.

I fell in love with her the second time;

when first she bore her child and mine

always by my side, the source of my strength,

helping to turn the tide..

But there were candles to burn

the world was my concern;

while our home was her domain..

and the people were mine

while the children were hers to maintain;

So it was in those eighteen years and a day..

’till I was detained;

forced in prison to stay.

Suddenly she’s our sole support;source of comfort,

our wellspring of Hope..

on her shoulders felt the burden of Life..

I fell in love again,with the same woman the third time.

Looming from the battle,

her courage will never fade

Amidst the hardships she has remained,

undaunted and unafraid..

she is calm and composed,

she is God’s lovely maid..

Cory Aquino

She’s in a better place right now

Than she’s ever been before;

All pain is gone; she’s now at rest;

Nothing troubles her anymore.

It’s we who feel the burden of

Our sadness and our grief;

We have to cry, to mourn our loss,

Before we get relief.

We know we’ll reconnect with her

At the end of each life’s road;

We’ll see her cherished face again

When we release our earthly load.

Thank You and Good night Tita Cory,

may the flights of angels lead thee to thy rest.

You've lived a full and blessed life.

Now you're in Ninoy's arms again.