Deep Thoughts 30 Day Challenge

I again found this while going around online, and I feel this is timely because Lent will be celebrated this April. 

1. What happened today? If it was the last day of your life, how satisfied would you be with your final hours?

2. Who are you? In comparison to who you used to be. What made you change?

3. Where have you been spending your time lately? Three/Five/Ten years ago would you have expected to be there?

4. What do you think it means to be in love?

5. Pick a song that projects the same mood as your day or week and explain.

6. Talk about a recent experience that has effected you greatly and how.

7. Think of the last person you hugged. What would you do if they vanished completely?

8. Write about the first moment that comes to your head when you read the words “childhood memory”

9. Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

10. Did you have a good day or a bad day? Where do you think that defining line was?

11. Do you feel protective over someone?

12. If you could trade places with anyone for one week, who would it be and why?

13. Where do you see your best friend in 10 years?

14. When you are stressed, what can you use as an outlet? Why do you think it helps you?

15. What do you believe in? And not just God or atheism.

16. What are you passionate about?

17. Who was the last person you kissed? (If you are still with them now, pick the person before them.) What would they say if they saw you now?

18. Talk about your extended family. Why do you think they are the way they are?

19. If you could be anywhere in the world, but you had to be there for a certain cause, where would you be and why?

20. Again, pick a song that projects the mood of your week or day.

21. Look back. Why did you choose this challenge? Do you think it says anything about you?

22. How do you think people see you? Be a little negative and a little positive.

23. Explain your life plan for the next month, then the next year, then three years, then five years.

24. Are you more social or independent? Why do you think that is?

25. What do you think it means to be a good parent?

26. Talk about a moment where you were truly happy. What was happening? Who were you with?

27. Is there a friend you are worried about? Why do they have you concerned? Do you think they’ll be okay?

28. Would you rather someone tell you the truth up front but gently, or be lied to to spare your feelings?

29. If you could be doing the same things you do now, only in your own way, how would a normal day in your life go?

30. Look back on this last month and talk about it.

Day 30 - A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

Dear Self,

So many things have been said and done, and I salute and admire you for still hanging on. Continue being who you are, someone with a big heart. People may continue to ignore you, not appreciate you, and misinterpret you but that doesn't mean that you have to change who you are. If it is people's nature to pull you down, let them be. Let the disappointments be not the reasons to change your nature. You are who you are and you are loved and hated for that. You may be imperfect but at least you're real and that's important - probably the most important thing there is.

Keep the faith, bro! 

Love,

Yourself

Day 29 - Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.

Didn't I already answer this in Day 1? Oh, that was Something you hate about yourself. Okay, I still hope to be more disciplined than I am now, especially with matters related to my health. I have so many imperfections and at first, I thought of wanting to change those, but then again, I wouldn't be who I am now if not for my cherished imperfections.

I am not perfect, I will never be perfect. I will just be simply me.

Day 28 - What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?

This already happened. I got someone pregnant, and that someone became my wife. Regrets? Not really because I loved her and I love her more now that we're starting to grow old together. ♥

Day 27 - What’s the best thing going for you right now?

Everything that's going on in my life right now is far from perfect. It is in fact, a work in progress. Having said that, I'm also contented and happy right now. The best thing going for me right now is my family. We're not rich, and we may not have everything that we want, we do have everything that we need so far, most especially each other. I may have been very busy recently, but I always try to find time for them. It's the least I can do.

Speaking of time, I'm also looking forward to our short family bonding when we go to Davao next month. At least we can get to unwind for a couple of days in a different environment, far from the environment we see everyday.

E63 to X8

After 2 years and 3 months, I've finally replaced my trusted Nokia E63. I was so confused with which to buy, so it took me around 2 hours to just choose. After a week of using my new phone, I can say that I made the right decision though I never thought I'd ever buy a touchscreen phone. I was so used with the QUERTY keys of my E63 that I'm still adjusting to this touchscreen technology. 

Oh, did I say replace? Sorry, wrong term. I haven't replaced it - yet. Not yet since it's still good even if it's showing signs of its old age from time to time. And by the way, the new phone that I got is a Sony Ericsson Xperia X8.

So far, I'm loving it with its Android 2.1 OS, and its touchscreen is the best I've experienced so far after trying out my officemates' LG and iPhone. I'm still exploring the Android technology though, especially with the different applications. I'm loving it but it's also kinda sad that it doesn't have a group feature like my previous phone where you can group your contacts. It was kinda fun sending group messages to family and friends, and it was like send to this group in one send - like a send to all feature though it's not sent to all, just those who are members of groups that you chose beforehand. 

Aside from the few complaints I have, I'm still loving it so far and I hope it will not disappoint me. I'm even thinking of selling my E63 soon - if I will be totally satisfied with the X8. I chose it over the Xperia Mini-Pro and Blackberry Bold 8250 so I hope I really made the right choice. Checking online, there have been mostly positive reviews about it. Time will tell - soon.

Day 26 - Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?

Before my daughter was born, I have thought of giving up on life a lot of times. I've always felt alone and misunderstood a lot of times, and I was a coward back then. I never fought back. I was afraid to fight back. I was a loser.

Everything changed when my daughter came into my life. She became my reason, my inspiration, my hope. Weak as she was, she became my strength, and I became hers. I learned how to be strong and brave for her and because of her. I don't want her to be like me that's why I'm teaching her how to fight back everyday. I want her to grow up not a coward and not a loser. She's a lot like me but she will grow not like me. She is loved and she will be loved. I hope to share my life with that she would never think of giving up on life when the going gets tough for her.

Day 25 - The reason you believe you’re still alive today

I have had a lot of major accidents in my lifetime and though they were not really near-death experiences, they were clear enough to tell me that I still have some things to do in my life, reasons why I'm still alive today. What those are, I don't think I will ever know. All I know is that I was put here for a reason.

Here is a test to find out whether your mission in life is complete..

If you’re still alive and kicking, it isn’t.

Day 24 - Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs (Just post the titles and artists and letter)

Dear Katrina,

I cannot list the songs that's on my playlist for you because there are a LOT, but just know that Papa has been compiling all the Disney songs from the since Papa was small so when you grow up, you will have an entire collection of beautiful Disney songs.

I love Disney and I love you more.

Love,

Papa :)

I See the Light at the Oscars

Idol Zachary Levi and the beautiful Mandy Moore singing one of the most beautiful songs

ever created from the most beautiful movie, Tangled, during the 83rd Academy Awards ♥

Day 23 - Something you wish you had done in your life

There are a lot of things I wish I could have done in my life, but if I choose one randomly, I wish I never stopped working out or playing basketball. I started working out at an early age because I was challenged when I was initially cut from the varsity team. I wanted to be the best basketball player in our school so I worked hard. The hard work paid off, but then I suddenly stopped working out when I reached college because of my schedule, and that's when the fats started accumulating. I've always had really big bones, and going to the gym at an early age gave me a really wide frame. Now without the regular workout that my body was used to, I became fat and wide bodied.

I know it's possible to trim down and maybe go back to my athletic weight, but it will take more than double the hard work, something I could have prevented if I just continued my routine before.

*sigh*

Day 22 - Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life

I wish I hadn't hurt my loved ones with my immaturity.

Day 21 - (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?

Fight between friends or best friends are common. As my uncle who's a Psychiatrist in the U.S. said, it's better to argue than to not talk at all. At least the communication lines are open. If this happened to my best friend and I, I would go right away to the hospital to check on him. If you're expecting drama, I'm sorry to disappoint but there wouldn't be any. The level of our friendship is way beyond misunderstandings that if we argue or fight if you may, we know it's because of the situation and not because of our differences, therefore no apologies are needed. If really needed, I know we're both capable of apologizing first.

Day 20 - Your views on drugs and alcohol

Drugs and alcohol? They're useless and a total waste of money. I'm sorry for being frank but I really can't find a single reason why either of these is cool. I have a lot of friends who drink and for the longest time, they've been coercing me to at least take a shot, and I never did it. Why? I just don't want to do it. For the sake of camaraderie? We can hang out, talk, jam, get wild even, but I don't need alcohol or drugs to do those things.

I'm addicted to life and I'm drunk with happiness, period.

Day 19 - What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?

I don't want to talk about religion. I've always believed in God and that is that.

Politics on the other hand, is downright unfair and dirty. That's coming from someone who comes from a big political clan in our province. How big? Picture this: Uncle versus Uncle for Mayor, Grandfather for Vice-Mayor, Aunt and Cousins for Councilors. 

I have been asked to continue our legacy and run for public office, and though I'm not totally closing any doors, it's not in my immediate plans or not even in the near future. It's just so dirty that if ever I'm jumping in, I'll show them all that I'll be the cleanest one - that is IF I jump in.

Day 18 - Your views on gay marriage

I am a Christian and I have a lot of gay friends who are Christians, by the way, and no matter what the church says, I don't have anything against gay marriage. Okay, I seriously don't want to see two guys kissing each other. Seriously. Two girls? It's fine, but not guys. They can get married as many times as they want, and I'll be happy for them, just don't let them kiss infront of me and everything will be fine.

Day 17 - A book you’ve read that changed your views on something

Embraced by the Light, an inspiring book by Betty Eadie, was the first and only book that I read in one sitting. I remember buying the book when the bookstore was about to close, went home, slept, woke up, started reading it, and didn't put the book down until I finished it. 

I've always been fascinated with the supernatural, and one of the questions I've always had was, what happens when we die? Now there have been a lot of books and movies about the topic, but I felt something within me when I read Betty Eadie's book.

As always, there are always skeptics, but I am entitled to my own opinion and decision, and I believe what I read in that book, that I even bought several copies to give as gifts back then.

Day 16 - Someone or something you definitely could live without

I definitely can live without TV. Let me rephrase that. I've lived without TV for a very long time already. TV, well our TV, has become boring through the years. We've never had cable and we still don't because as dad said a long time ago, "having cable will just disrupt our schedules."

I don't even remember the last time I really sat infront of our TV to watch something. Yes, I watch my favorite series on the computer either online or DVD, and not on our TV so yeah, I can definitely live without our TV.

Talentadong Pinoy

Now this is a TALENTADONG PINOY!

Mabuhay ka, Joseph! 

Day 15 - Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it

My daughter. I've tried living without her during those times when she spent Christmas in Davao with her grandparents, and it was like the air was sucked out of me. I had work during those times so I had a distraction for most of the day, but when I arrived at our empty room, it was never the same. Every second knowing that my daughter was far away felt like years to me.

The Paradox of Our Time

by Dr. Bob Moorehead

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense; more knowledge, but less judgment; more experts, yet more problems; more medicine, but less wellness.

We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life. We’ve added years to life not life to years. We’ve been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We’ve done larger things, but not better things.

We’ve cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We’ve conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We’ve learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion; big men and small character; steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce; fancier houses but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit “delete”.

Remember, spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.

Remember to say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn’t cost a cent.

Remember to say “I love you” to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER: Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Happy Birthday, Rico!

This is the last part of the most watched teleserye in Philippine history, the only teleserye that I watched every night, to remember Rico Yan as he could have turned 36 years old today.

On a side note, I hope ABS-CBN won't mess up their remake of Mula sa Puso, for the new generation to appreciate. I'm so proud to know that my cousin is part of the remake cast, here's hoping he'll do well.

Day 14 - A hero that has let you down (letter)

Since I can't remember a hero that has let me down, I'm changing the recipient of this very short letter.

Dear Networks (ABS-CBN, GMA & TV5),

Please stop destroying our childhood heroes by dubbing in Filipino. I am proud to be Filipino and I am proud of my national language, but dubbing English cartoons into Filipino is just too much!

Sincerely yours,

Kal-El

P.S. Hearing Dora the Explorer say Tagalog words give me goosebumps - and not the good kind of goosebumps.

Prayers for Japan

As we see a world in tears, a world in fear, 

let us not forget that prayer is our weapon and faith is our shield.

As cities fell and heroes rose, all of mankind became one.

So with all the faith we can muster,

let's join hands with the rest of the world and pray for a brighter tomorrow.

I believe that God is bigger than any calamity. 

God bless the Philippines,

God bless our brothers and sisters

all over the world.

Day 13 - A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days (write a letter)

Martin Nievera. He's my greatest musical influence, and I've been listening to his songs all the time - including those worst times that I've been in. Knowing that he himself is a survivor of a lot of storms in his life is an inspiration to me.

Day 12 - Something you never get compliments on

It's not really a compliment but a lot of times, especially during parties and events, I'm usually in-charge of the sound system and taking videos and pictures, and because I'm almost always behind the scenes, I'm also almost always not included in pictures, videos and the memories of those who attended. I don't mind being invisible and all, it's just depressing sometimes when even the celebrator or the hosts don't even appreciate what you do.

Day 11 - Something people seem to compliment you the most on

I am not a good singer, I just know how to carry a tune, so it really feels good hearing people giving compliments about my voice. I've always had the inferiority complex since I was small no thank's to my father, so compliments always gives a little boost to my lowest self-esteem. I am not a good singer and I don't think I ever will be. I'm just thankful that I have a voice that I can use in my own little ways to touch lives and make a positive difference in the lives of a few people.

Thank you, Lord, for the gift of voice.

Day 10 - Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know

Gee, this is getting harder and harder. No wonder it's called a challenge! Haha!

There is someone I have in mind now that I wish I just haven't met. At first, she was very caring like a mother and was also supportive. As time went by, her treatment towards me changed. Every time something bad happened, I was always her first suspect. She's always been saying that she treats me like her son that's why she reprimands and calls my attention every time I do something wrong, but the problem is I haven't done anything wrong! She always misinterprets my actions, and ALWAYS with malice.

I wish I didn't know her, and she didn't know me. Though we have mutual connections that forces us to see each other from time to time, I've already let go of her in my heart as I've realized that I only have one mother who really loves me and accepts me unconditionally, my biological mother.

Day 09 - Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted

There are a lot of people that came and went, some I didn't want to go or let go, but I had no choice. There were also some who just drifted away. I've always believed that there's a reason for everything, including people that come into our lives, and if they leave us, then they must have already done their roles in our lives therefore moving on.

I remember my first ever best friend who just drifted away. We were classmates in elementary and we were always together. We went to different schools in high school but we still kept in touch, and still saw each other regularly. We went to the same school in college, but took up different courses and had our own crowd. We just drifted away from each other. We're still friends now - in Facebook - but we haven't talked for centuries.

Up, Up and Away

I cried when I watched the movie UP by Disney, so when I saw this small feature about a small group of people who sort of made UP a reality, I cried once again. Seeing that real small yellow house fly gave me goosebumps.

Day 08 - Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like sh*t

There are a lot of persons who, at one time or another, have made me feel like I'm worthless, or as the title of this challenge says, made my life a living hell or treated me like poop. In fairness to them (though they were never fair to me), they made me stronger and made me realize a lot of things.

There's no specific someone because there were quite a handful, all equal in terms of making me feel like dirt. The pain that they caused, I am carrying until now. It's more painful because they were people who were not strangers to me, but family, friends, co-workers.

You've made me stronger by breaking my heart

you ended my life and made a better one start

Day 07 - Someone who has made your life worth living for

My daughter.

This is the easiest question so far in this challenge. I can truly say that though I have done so many stupid things in my life, things that I am never proud of, I must have done something really good in His eyes because He gave me  a daughter who has everything I've asked for and more.

Day 06 - Something you hope you never have to do

I never want to say goodbye most especially to my loved ones, my family. That's one thing that I hope I never have to do. I'm sort of traumatized in a way about saying goodbye, that's why I rarely say the word when someone I know is leaving (even just for school or work). I tend to use see you later rather than goodbye. 

I never want to say goodbye, but then again, not everyone is given the chance to do so. 

Where is the good in goodbye?

Day 05 - Something you hope to do in your life

One thing that I really hope to do in this lifetime is to be able to do something big for at least one person, to be able to make a positive difference and help change the life of that person, much like what the Touhy family has done to the life of Michael Oher which became the inspiration and the basis for the movie, The Blind Side. I am trying my best to make a positive difference in the lives of many people in my own little way everyday. For a change, I hope to do at least one major thing, that big life changer.

Day 04 - Something you have to forgive someone for

This is very difficult. I must say that I don't really hold a grudge on anyone, it's just that I don't easily forget too. If there's someone I have to forgive now for something, it will be my now ex-officemate who made my life a living hell in the more than a year that we've been officemates. I forgive him for everything. It's quite funny that he has always undermined me and badmouthed me, and even if I have done not a single thing against him, I am always his suspect whenever his attention is called by management. Talk about paranoia.

No, I haven't forgiven him, and I don't know if I ever can. I know I have to forgive him. Maybe someday. Then again, maybe never.

Day 03 - Something you have to forgive yourself for

I have not been the best boyfriend and husband to my wife before, and I have not been able to forgive myself for that. I promised myself that I would spend the rest of my life making up for my mistakes in the past, and I would spend the rest of my life trying my darnest best to be the best husband and father that I can be.

Being human makes me full of imperfections, but it also makes me real.

18 Hours

Seven hours more and I'll finally be done with this 18 hour shift. Been here since lunch time today, and will go home tomorrow, breakfast time. Yes, it's tiring but someone's got to do this job.

Today is also my last day in the swing shift, and will be back in the morning shift starting Monday, until the end of the month. 3 different shifts for some of us, and permanent shifts for most. Since I'm getting sleepy, let me try to list down some of the advantages and disadvantages of our 3 different shifts.

* Morning shift

6 AM to 3 PM

Advantages

- Basically normal working hours (day shift), just a couple of hours earlier

- When you get off from work, you still have a lot of time (and sunlight) to do a lot of things

Disadvantage

- Waking up really early

* Swing shift

1 PM to 10 PM

Advantages

- For people with an active night life, their other lives start after shift

- For people like me, I get to go home, play or watch DVD's until dawn, sleep, and still won't be late for work

- It's the least busiest shift

Disadvantages

- I will miss all the gigs and events, or even a simple family dinner because I get out after dinnertime

- The sun is scorching hot on the way to the office

* Graveyard shift

9:30 PM to 6:30 AM

Advantages

- I can still have a semi-normal life and have gigs before my shift (that's the whole day)

- There's no sun that'll burn my skin

Disadvantages

- Sooo sleepy

- Until now, I still find it kinda weird going to work on a certain date, and going out on a different date

These are the things I can think of as of now. I may think of new things in the future and I may or I may not update this post. Haha!

Day 02 - Something you love about yourself

A big 360 degree turn from yesterday's topic. Haha.

I am perhaps the most imperfect being on this planet, and there are probably more things that I hate about myself more than I love about myself. If I can choose just one, the thing that I love about myself is that I care. Yes, I care too much at times which almost always ends up badly, but hey, that's something about myself that I just can't change. If I care, I really care with a pinch of love thrown in there with it.

Let me say it one more time, the words I keep inside. This heart of mine has something to reveal that you're always in my prayer, and this time to you I swear. There's nothing that I won't do for you, I care..

~ Rachelle Ann Go

Day 01 - Something you hate about yourself

First day of this blog challenge, and I'm already challenged. Haha!

Seriously, one thing I hate about myself is my being undisciplined. I mean, I've grown double my size from when I was in high school, and as much as I really want to at least not be this overweight, I'm still doing nothing. Yes, I'm trying my best to skip rice in all my meals, but the most important thing - exercise - is something I'm just too lazy to do. I hate being obese and I hate being so lazy and undisciplined.