Remembering Martin Richard

As we hear the news of the Boston bombing suspect finally arrested this morning (and the other suspect killed yesterday), we remember the victims of the cowardly act of terrorism, most especially Martin Richard, a cute 8-year old boy who made this poster in school last year. Martin was able to give his dad a hug when the father crossed the finished line, before the explosion happened. So heartbreaking!

Mystery Girl

Waiting for a jeepney under the rain last Saturday, a very beautiful lady driving a beautiful car asked me to ride with her. She looked like she was a little younger than me, around 2 to 4 years younger, and she was alone. It came as a shock to me because I was a stranger and she opened her doors.. well, her car door and she trusted me to ride with her. I wasn't able to get her name because I was too shy to ask or even start a conversation with her. Through the deafening silence inside her car, she switched on her car stereo and the first song that was played by the DJ was another shock: Remy Zero's Save Me. Now for those who don't know, that song is the theme song of Smallville. Talk about coincidence!

No, I wasn't able to get anything, not even the plate number. I was just too shocked and too shy to do anything. Haha! All I remember was the brand of the car, Hyundai.

I hope to see her again if only to say Thank you. I thanked her when I disembarked from her car, but it was just a hurried thank you. I hope to really thank her not just for the ride, but more importantly, for saving me from the rain and for being late. And yes, thank her for opening her heart to a stranger.

Simply Me

I may not be the one whom you can understand,

I may not be the one who can give you a hand.

I'm never less of being me,

Nor do am I more what you see.

I do have pains and happy times too,

I'm a person just like you.

So here I am for you.

I may not be the one who can touch your heart

Not a gift nor a lift,

not a fitting part.

But being me is my greater share,

To this friendship I really care

And nothing more I deem so true,

Being me I share to you.

So here I am.

Can you take me for what I am?

Here I am, it's just me,

And all that I can be.

Now I'm here just for you,

with all my hangups too.

A soothing pillow I may not be,

A road of thorns is all that you see.

Just being me, is it enough for you?

For being you is all I needed too..

Time Chasing Me

Day 15 of the 30 Day Song Challenge - A song that describes you

It was just like yesterday when I was in pre-school and then, grade school. I still remember my classmates and friends, and the games we used to play. I remember my teachers, their full names and their faces. I remember my high school years, our camaraderie, our Up's and Down's, our teachers, our experiences. Those 4 years were some of the best years of my life. I remember my college years, it wasn't easy but I survived with the help of my friends. I remember being known as the youngest Master's degree and Doctorate degree holder once upon a time. I remember settling down and starting a family. I remember carrying my baby in my arms as she sleeps.

Now that same baby I carried in my arms is now a young lady. She just said goodbye to kindergarten and will now be in grade school.

I used to think that I was chasing time, but now I realize that it's time chasing me. Martin definitely hit the spot when he wrote the song, Chasing Time.

Sometimes I don't know
Am I chasing time? I'm not in control
But now I can see, now I believe
It's really time chasing me!

You Can Let Go Now

Day 16 of the 30 Day Challenge - A Song That Makes You Cry (Or Nearly)

One song that makes me cry every time I hear it is You Can Let Go Now by Crystal Shawanda. It affects me both as a son to my parents, and as a parent to my own daughter. It reminds of the circle of life, and how fast the years go by. I can still remember the things I did when I was in first grade, and now my daughter is going to be in first grade herself. I love my daughter so much that if I had a choice, I would want to keep her forever. But that's just not how life is. *sigh*

Wind blowin’ on my face
Sidewalk flyin’ beneath my bike
A five year-old’s first taste
Of what freedom’s really like
He was runnin’ right beside me
His hand holdin’ on the seat
I took a deep breath and hollered
As I headed for the street

You can let go now, Daddy
You can let go
Oh, I think I’m ready
To do this on my own
It’s still a little bit scary
But I want you to know
I’ll be ok now, Daddy
You can let go

I was standin’ at the altar
Between the two loves of my life
To one I’ve been a daughter
To one I soon would be a wife
When the preacher asked,
‘Who gives this woman?’
Daddy’s eyes filled up with tears
He kept holdin’ tightly to my arm
‘Till I whispered in his ear

You can let go now, Daddy
You can let go
Oh, I think I’m ready
To do this on my own
It still feels a little bit scary
But I want you to know
I’ll be ok now, Daddy
You can let go

It was killin’ me to see
The strongest man I ever knew
Wastin’ away to nothin’
In that hospital room
‘You know he’s only hangin’ on for you’
That’s what the night nurse said
My voice and heart were breakin’
As I crawled up in his bed, and said

You can let go now, Daddy
You can let go
Your little girl is ready
To do this on my own
It’s gonna be a little bit scary
But I want you to know
I’ll be ok now, Daddy
You can let go
You can let go

You Can Let Go

I've watched this video a million times and I still cry every single time.

Team Assist

I so love my former team, Escalations, at the previous company I've worked with. Even if I'm no longer a part of them now, they always still invite me to team dinners and outings. Not only me, but us who have already left the team.

I heard that the team will be disbanded in a couple of weeks which is sad considering that all of the teams in customer service and sales all depend on our team for their escalated calls. Well, they can disband the team, but they can never talk away the memories and comarederie that we had.

Miss You Ate, Miss You Kuya

Happy Birthday, Kuya Carlo. I know life could have been a lot better if you were around. I miss you terribly, you and Ate Happy. I didn't get the chance to really know you both, but every time I think about you, I suddenly get that empty feeling inside me again. I know my life is complete now with my family, but you both are a big part of my life. *sigh*

Kuya, you would've turned 31 years old today. Ate would've been 33. Now, I would never know the feeling of growing old having older siblings to grow old with, to laugh with, and maybe even to fight with.

I miss you both terribly. Please continue to watch over us, especially your niece. You've watched over my all my life and I'm so much thankful for that. I wish you're both here so I can hug you. Please continue to pray for us, and yes, I know that someday, we will be together again.

I LOVE YOU BOTH, SO MUCH. ♥

Stephen Gately (1976 - 2009)

With the sudden and tragic death of Stephen Gately, Boyzone will never be the same again. One of only two boybands that I really love (the other is BSB), Stephen's distinct vocals will remain forever in their hits, songs that will live on for the generations to come. I consider myself lucky to be part of the generation where Boyzone once ruled.

Thank you for the music, Stephen.

You're not only talented, you're a brave, brave man.

Now you can sing for the Big Man up there.

Untitled

What is Hello without Goodbye?

Can't find a tear without a cry

Been there, done that; nothing to hide

Pain usually occurs with self pride

Why does love have to end?

Do I hold on or just pretend?

That it no longer hurts to remember

Promises made, return to sender

Like the setting sun or a sinking ship

Darkness fades, each time you quit

Once whole, then half, sinking fast

Why do good things never last? ..

No Turning Back

I had my last shift last night, logged out for the last time this morning. The whole shift I was trying to make everyone laugh so no one (including me) would feel any sadness during my last shift with the team, but as the hours turned to minutes, the mood turned into something else. The usually noisy team suddenly became silent as they silently counted down my stay with the team and with the company.

At 4:02 AM, I logged out from my Avaya and my PC, kissed my station, and gave my letter to my team mates. They all wished me well, and told me they'll miss me. I know they will. I know I will. I hope I made the right decision. Only time will tell.

Before going out of the production floor, they made me promise to put my mugs (I bring 2 every shift) and my headset in my locker and come back to the floor to say goodbye to everyone. I said yes. I hurried out to my locker and was about to go back in when I met Chazzy, one of my closest team mates who is like a little sister to me. She hugged me tight and told me she'll miss me and that she doesn't have a Daddy anymore. I was The Daddy to a lot of my colleagues and friends in the office. I hugged her tight and told her that I'll always be there for her. Tears started to fall from my eyes. I just realized I already miss everyone. I wanted to go back to the floor, but I didn't. I couldn't. If I did, I would be more emotional about it.

I went straight to the elevator, and went straight out of the office. I went home and cried myself to sleep.

I miss my team. I miss my team mates.

*sigh*

Last Days

I'm trying to make my last days in the office as happy and as positive as I can. I will have my last shift on Sunday, then process my clearance on Monday. It's so surreal and bittersweet for me. I don't want to leave but I have to, I can't take a chance to be forced out by the account, not the company. I will leave behind a lot of friends who became a family to me. It's really not easy. I have to move on. I must move on.

Some good things never really last...

New Start

Everything happened so fast. I'm still very emotional about everything that happened. Okay. Let me breath. In. Out. In. Out.

I'm kinda okay now.

Yesterday, when I was depressed that I will be losing my job, a blessing came. No, it was not from another company but from the same company I'm in now. I was asked if I'm interested to transfer to the other account immediately. Am I interested? Of course! I was even planning on resigning and finding another company. How happy I am to have a fresh start with the same company I've been with for more than a year.

And then it slowly sunk in. I will be leaving my team, my friends, people I spend 9.5 hours five days a week. Damn.

We will start our training tomorrow. I hope everything will be okay tomorrow.

To Err is Human

The past two days, I have signed two final written warnings and had a hearing last night with my immediate supervisor and two people from HR. My employment in this company is on the line. Another lapse on my part, one more failure in my quality scores would mean automatic termination. That's how harsh the penalty is.

Last night's shift was like the beginning of the end for me. I wish I have another job to go to so I can just leave this and move on. Two of my closest teammates already submitted their resignation letters and is on the final days of their career here. I have to work double time to find another career option fast so I too can submit my resignation letter. My other option is to my best in each and every call so I would not get a single markdown and therefore not jeopardize my job. The only problem is that I have to be perfect in my calls for a 12-week rolling period, meaning I am not allowed to commit a mistake in the next months or else, I would be terminated. Though it can be done, I don't think I can do it. I am only human.

I Have Fallen in Love

One of my favorite songs by Jose Mari Chan, it was actually a poem Ninoy Aquino wrote for his wife, Cory. Now they are together in the place called Forever...

I have fallen in lovewith the same woman three times;

In a day spanning 19 yearsof tearful joys..and joyful tears.

I loved her first when she was young,enchanting and vibrant, eternally new..

she was brilliant, fragrant,and cool as the morning dew.

I fell in love with her the second time;

when first she bore her child and mine

always by my side, the source of my strength,

helping to turn the tide..

But there were candles to burn

the world was my concern;

while our home was her domain..

and the people were mine

while the children were hers to maintain;

So it was in those eighteen years and a day..

’till I was detained;

forced in prison to stay.

Suddenly she’s our sole support;source of comfort,

our wellspring of Hope..

on her shoulders felt the burden of Life..

I fell in love again,with the same woman the third time.

Looming from the battle,

her courage will never fade

Amidst the hardships she has remained,

undaunted and unafraid..

she is calm and composed,

she is God’s lovely maid..

Cory Aquino

She’s in a better place right now

Than she’s ever been before;

All pain is gone; she’s now at rest;

Nothing troubles her anymore.

It’s we who feel the burden of

Our sadness and our grief;

We have to cry, to mourn our loss,

Before we get relief.

We know we’ll reconnect with her

At the end of each life’s road;

We’ll see her cherished face again

When we release our earthly load.

Thank You and Good night Tita Cory,

may the flights of angels lead thee to thy rest.

You've lived a full and blessed life.

Now you're in Ninoy's arms again.

One Man Down

Monday is the only day in the week where no one is on day-off, well at least for our team. Monday is the only day in the week where the team is complete. Well, in the past months, a few have resigned and have been replaced by new teammates. At least those who resigned were required to submit a 30-day notice which means they have to work for 30 days before eventually leaving the company.

Last night, we were one man down. It was something that was coming a long time ago, we just didn't know it was yesterday. One of the pioneer members of the team got terminated there and then. He was informed that he was terminated and that he would no longer be allowed to come in later that night for his supposed shift. He got terminated because he failed in quality a lot of times already, the most recent was his 4th straight pay period. I failed in quality too a couple of months ago, two pay-periods in a row that's why I was given an FA.

It's really sad seeing the team slowly breaking apart after our Coach going through hell and back just to keep it together. It's breaking my heart thinking about how my now ex-teammate is going to do. He's separated from his wife, he has 3 young kids, and his present girlfriend is also our teammate and is pregnant. It's so sad because he got terminated when the quality standards of the account is not yet fixed and stable. Every week, there is a new update, a change in the quality standard since our new account is not yet etched in stone with our company. What we would have wanted was to give our ex-teammate (and others who have either been transferred or terminated) the chance to redeem himself and work on his quality. Hey, he's a professional and is an experienced one at that. He would not have been promoted to be an account supervisor if he was just an ordinary agent taking calls. Too late for those though since he's no longer with us.

*sigh*

Michael Jackson (1958 - 2009)

Shocked would be an understatement on how I felt when a text message from a college friend informed me of Michael Jackson's death. How can he die? He was immortal. He was all-powerful. He was a King. To a lot of people, he was even regarded as God-like. Then a line from Lex Luthor (from Superman: Doomsday) occured to me, "...there comes a time when even Gods must die."

I am greatly affected by his death because growing up, he was my very first musical influence and inspiration. Before I started singing, I was already dancing, and I was dancing to the King of Pop's songs. I did the moonwalk when I was still elementary, and when I started singing, one of the very first songs I sang in public was Will You Be There?, MJ's masterpiece which was also the theme song for the first Free Willy movie.

A lot has been said about him, he was not perfect, in fact, a lot of times, his flaws and his human side overshadowed the good things he has done. But one thing I will always remember him by: GENIUS. I will always be thankful and proud that I have witnessed his greatness in my lifetime. My children and my children's children will continue to listen and appreciate MJ's music. His legacy will live on. He transcended race and color. His songs were works of art.

For your songs, for your dances, for your music, for the inspiration, for the memories... I'm thankful that I have been able to watch you growing up... Continue moonwalking Up There, MJ...

Short Reunion

Last night, I was able to see Mikhael, Wilma and Kirsten for a short but memorable time. I missed these people. Last time we were together was 5 years ago when we did Anastasia, then Kirsten and her sister, Krizia, went to the states to study, while Mikhz went to Singapore. He was supposedly there for vacation but decided to stay for good. I can't believe Wilma and Kirsten are already in college. Well, Wilma is a college sophomore while Kirsten is a senior HS student in the States. These girls are all grown-up now and looking HOT. How fast time flies. Just made me realize yet again that I'm growing old. *sigh*

Mikhz will be going back to Singapore on Sunday, while Kirsten and Krizia will be going back to the States on Wednesday. The girls will not be back in Cebu for a very long time as they'll go to college already soon. Mikhz promised to be back if our planned production will push through. Wilma will still be in Cebu but as much as I want to see her regularly, I doubt it because she's busy with school and her parents are strict. *sigh*

Well, I just hope that our paths will cross again soon. I love these guys a lot. They're just a few of the handful of people who I met in the make-believe world of theatre and became my real friends.

Fr. Felix Glowicki, SDB

On the morning of April 24, 2009, a staff member found Fr. Felix Glowicki, SDB unconscious in his office just after his regular routine of meeting the workers. He was rushed to the hospital and was diagnosed as having suffered a slight stroke. Unable to speak, he wrote that he simply lost his footing and fell. At that stage he waived the offer to be anointed, though yielded later. Despite early signs of recovery, his health quickly deteriorated. He breathed his last on May 11, 2009 - Feast of St. Ignatius of Laconi.

Those who knew him will remember a smiling friend, cheerful priest, an indefatigable worker, a firm educator, a gardener, a musician, a youth club leader, a warm-hearted confrere and a model religious. I personally remember him as the person who made the new building of DBTC, and made it beautiful until this day. I remember how he used to go around the campus in his polo barong. Up to this day, he's the only non-Filipino I've seen always wearing a polo barong.

Fr. Felix was just two days shy of his 78th birthday on the day of his burial (May 16, 2009). His confreres in southern Philippines put things this way: "We all know what a blast he will have celebrating his birthday in the Salesian garden in heaven. Look down on us kindly, Fr Felix, great man, good friend! We will miss you"

* Thank you to Fr. Nioret for the pic, text and additional information.