What I Would Say To My 20-Year Old Self

I just stumbled upon the idea while going around online. It's a simple title, but it struck me because it has been 12 years since I was 20 years old, and so much has happened since then.

I know I've done a lot of stupid decisions in the past, but I don't think I would like to take them back even if given the chance. I am who I am today because of what happened yesterday, and yester.. uhm.. years?

If I can say something to my 20-year old self, it's this..

Hey, next year you'll be graduating from college. It's not yet too late to work harder starting now so you'll have better grades when you graduate. I know that you've always said that grades are really not important when you apply for a job, but I tell you, sometimes they are. You won't lose anything if you just work harder, and you'll have a lot to gain.

Also, just a tip, since you will be working in a state college, do your best to behave. So many eyes will be on you as the youngest member of the community so do not give them reasons to talk about you because as you know, when gossip will spread, it will be blown out of proportion and you definitely wouldn't want that. You've always been mature for your age, so I know you understand this.

Lastly, just enjoy your life and appreciate everything that comes your way. After all, you will not be passing this way again.

Worth the Wait!

I only had one day off this week, and I spent most of it watching my most awaited Les Mis movie. Verdict? I loved it, and I'm loving it. Heck, it could've been the worst movie ever and I'll still love it. Hey, it IS Les Mis, what's there to not love?

I'm lucky though that it is not the worst movie ever. It's even nominated for 8 Academy Awards, which I'm so excited about. Kinda disappointing that Tom Hooper was snubbed, to think that he did an amazing job with the movie. I mean, I'm a Les Mis freak for more than half of my life, and I've performed in Les Mis for many years, but the movie experience was just amazing. Tom Hooper deserves at least a nomination. He made the musical more epic with this amazing movie.

I am tempted to write a review about it, but I will not. I waited for almost 2 decades and I finally saw it. I enjoyed it, I loved it! It was not perfect but it was real, it was epic.. Wait. I'm starting to sound like I'm writing a review. Haha. Yeah, I'll stop now.

The movie was worth the wait.

Definitely worth it.

Alone

At the office,

I feel so alone even if there are a lot of people around me.

Pay Difference

I remember my first job as a guidance counselor and college professor. The pay was relatively smaller than the pay I'm receiving in the BPO industry, but somehow I was able to have extra to buy things for myself. Ever since I started working in the call center industry, I've been struggling. Well, there were times though in the academe that I just had skyflakes and coffee for lunch, but that was a rarity.

If given the chance to go back to the academe, given that I will be receiving less again, would I survive? I think I will. And besides, the stress in the call center industry is slowly killing me so if ever, I'd be double dead. Haha.

Missing the Academe

I am so tired already of working in a contact center. Yes, I've been with the BPO industry for 7 years already and I think this is more than enough. I've always believed that this job is for the younger generation, especially those without any other responsibilities.

I so miss those times that I am always available for my family's activities. Whenever my daughter has a presentation in school, or my sister has an event, I was always there. Until I started working in the BPO industry, that is. Yes, there were times when I was able to be with them, but that has been so rare in the past 7 years.

I don't regret leaving my first job as an educator and the assistant of the university president because working in the corporate world has taught me a lot that I couldn't have learned if I just stayed put. I miss the academe now, and it's not easy going back. It's kinda sad that even with my credentials, it's difficult for me to go back to the academe because there'll always be 'favorites' and 'backers' whether it's a private or state university.

I will always be an educator. Even now that I'm not working in a school. That's something in me that no one will be able to take away. I'm just praying that for this new year, I would have the opportunity to be a professor again, and not just an educator.

A Father First

My 2012 was a blur. Yes, it was a banner year for CTC and for me as a thespian and director, but other than that, it was a blur. I really was not able to achieve anything else and for that, I'm kinda disappointed. I'm also disappointed that in the 365 days that I was given, I was not able to give much of it to my family. I almost took my family for granted, and that is unacceptable. I was so hyped up with performing, and for what? My family is and will always be the most important thing for me, and I was not able to show them that in 2012.

I don't really make resolutions for the new year, and I will not be making one soon, but what I made when the new year started was a promise. A promise to myself that for this year that just started, I will make my family my priority, even if it means not being that active in theatre and music. My daughter is growing up so fast, I may not be able to know her anymore if I keep on prioritizing other things.

For 2013, I will be a father first. Everything else will be secondary.