I am Human

Call me selfish, but I think I have the right to be disappointed.

Imagine this: After experiencing physical pain, you wake up and receive a shocking news that you're no longer directing the upcoming tour which you're so passionate about. Yes, you're still a member of the cast, but after 24 shows that you've given your whole life into, it's taken away and given to someone else.

I don't have anything against the man they gave the directorship to, he's a good man, and we've shared the role of Valjean in those 24 shows, and we've covered each other at those times when one of us was indisposed. When it was announced that the producer of our upcoming tour will be choosing the actors that he wants to play, I already accepted the fact that my alternate, who's more experienced, more good-looking, a better actor and singer than me, will be chosen, and I will be going to the tour as a full-time director. When I was chosen by the producer, to play, it was a total surprise and yes, it made me more excited to be blessed with the role again. I was also excited because that meant my alternate will become the Technical Director, and I've always believed that we work together beautiful with him manning the technicals, and me manning the artistic side. Then yesterday, I just received a surprising text message from our President, someone I've always loved, respected and protected, that my alternate will now be the over-all director, technical AND artistic, for the tour.

Was the previous 24 shows a big disappointment and totally bad that we need to have someone new manning the artistic side? I'm sorry if I'm not good enough. Yes, I have had a lot of help ever since, and I welcome the help, it's just disappointing being replaced, not being really asked about it and being informed through text. It's like raising a beautiful child with help from a lot of good people, and then when the child is already grown-up and doing good, she's taken away from you and given to one of those good people.

I am a reluctant director, and I know I suck as a director, but for the past 24 shows, I did more than my best and the experience changed me. I know it was not the best, but it wasn't that bad as well.

I am hurt.

I am in pain.

I am disappointed.

People don't care.

Life goes on.

I forgive, but I never forget.

I am human.