Red Ink

I am again in trouble of getting an FA for again not meeting the Quality standards so far in the office. I am not alone this time. As of this morning, there are three of us in the team who's quality score is in red ink. The pay period ends around the 5th of July, and getting that FA would mean I would not be getting any bonus AND I will be on the brink of termination. An FA would take three weeks to fall off, and getting another FA within that period would mean termination.

*sigh*

With a job like ours, taking escalated calls from really irate customers is never easy. And to add that the client is changing the metrics every pay period, and almost every other day, there is a new update with not just a markdown in quality, but an autofail at that. Autofail means it's automatic zero.

It seems like the office is doing everything to please the client, and the client is doing everything to save a lot in terms of bonuses, perks and incentives. All of us are now getting a lot less than what we used to get before.

Working here is no longer as fun as it used to be. Other options? I am again seriously thinking of it.

*sigh*

Cavs welcome Shaq

After being eliminated by the Orlando Magic and its self-proclaimed Superman in Dwight Howard, my Cleveland Cavaliers have started the process to be a much better team next season. And seemingly enough, the first step they did was to get the original Superman in the NBA, Shaquille O'Neal. Yes, it's Shaq-Fu, Shaq-daddy, Big Diesel, the Big Eerie, the Big Aristotle bringing his act and experience to Ohio. He's already 37 years old, and even though he is not as dominant as he was before, he is still a dominating force below that will command and demand double-teams. This is a very exciting development for us Cavs fans, and though we will miss Big Ben, I don't mind parting ways with Pavlovic.

Shaq had 3 championships with Kobe and 1 with D-Wade. I'm so much excited with him sharing the ball with the current MVP and probably the most dominant force in the NBA today in King James. And yes, Shaq is out to get back the Superman title from Howard.

Other teams are also improving like the Magic getting Vince Carter and the Spurs getting Richard Jefferson, and they better improve because the Cavs are not done yet. Shaq is just the beginning. Expect more player movements before the next season of the NBA begins.

Michael Jackson (1958 - 2009)

Shocked would be an understatement on how I felt when a text message from a college friend informed me of Michael Jackson's death. How can he die? He was immortal. He was all-powerful. He was a King. To a lot of people, he was even regarded as God-like. Then a line from Lex Luthor (from Superman: Doomsday) occured to me, "...there comes a time when even Gods must die."

I am greatly affected by his death because growing up, he was my very first musical influence and inspiration. Before I started singing, I was already dancing, and I was dancing to the King of Pop's songs. I did the moonwalk when I was still elementary, and when I started singing, one of the very first songs I sang in public was Will You Be There?, MJ's masterpiece which was also the theme song for the first Free Willy movie.

A lot has been said about him, he was not perfect, in fact, a lot of times, his flaws and his human side overshadowed the good things he has done. But one thing I will always remember him by: GENIUS. I will always be thankful and proud that I have witnessed his greatness in my lifetime. My children and my children's children will continue to listen and appreciate MJ's music. His legacy will live on. He transcended race and color. His songs were works of art.

For your songs, for your dances, for your music, for the inspiration, for the memories... I'm thankful that I have been able to watch you growing up... Continue moonwalking Up There, MJ...

Short Reunion

Last night, I was able to see Mikhael, Wilma and Kirsten for a short but memorable time. I missed these people. Last time we were together was 5 years ago when we did Anastasia, then Kirsten and her sister, Krizia, went to the states to study, while Mikhz went to Singapore. He was supposedly there for vacation but decided to stay for good. I can't believe Wilma and Kirsten are already in college. Well, Wilma is a college sophomore while Kirsten is a senior HS student in the States. These girls are all grown-up now and looking HOT. How fast time flies. Just made me realize yet again that I'm growing old. *sigh*

Mikhz will be going back to Singapore on Sunday, while Kirsten and Krizia will be going back to the States on Wednesday. The girls will not be back in Cebu for a very long time as they'll go to college already soon. Mikhz promised to be back if our planned production will push through. Wilma will still be in Cebu but as much as I want to see her regularly, I doubt it because she's busy with school and her parents are strict. *sigh*

Well, I just hope that our paths will cross again soon. I love these guys a lot. They're just a few of the handful of people who I met in the make-believe world of theatre and became my real friends.

Manila - Third Day

I was left all alone the whole morning in the apartment. It was my choice. Everyone went out and had lunch somewhere at Greenhills, I opted to stay and eat the leftovers at the apartment because I was planning to go to Quezon City and watch the PBA games live in the afternoon. As usual, there was no water in the apartment. Good thing I was able to save some from yesterday.

I went to Araneta Coliseum in the afternoon only to find out that all tickets except the rafters were sold out. I wanted to watch the games live, but I didn't want to stay at the rafters, the farthest seat in the house. I was not at all disappointed though because I was planning to watch the games and I wanted to watch the games, but I didn't really prepare for it like buying tickets in advance at Ticketnet for instance.

So instead, I went around the vicinity of Araneta Center and went to the different malls there. I decided to watch a movie, and found out that the SM located there doesn't have a theater yet. There were theaters in other malls though. I then decided to go to SM Mall of Asia and maybe watch whatever is shown in IMAX. Wow! I'll be experiencing IMAX for the first time. Cool!

When I arrived at MOA, I took a few pictures and went straight to the map. Found the theaters and immediately went there. I was 5 minutes late and I would be able to watch the next screening 2 hours after. I didn't want to wait so I just said to myself that my IMAX experience would have to be postponed for another day. I went straight to SM San Lazaro, met up with mom and other relatives, had dinner at Pizza Hut and called it a day.

Tomorrow is going to be our last day in Manila.

P.S. Happy Fathers' Day to all my fellow fathers in the world, and Happy Anniversary to my Mom and Dad who's now celebrating their 32nd year of marriage, if my calculations are correct.

Manila - Second Day

Woke up early and prepared early for the wedding of the century. Because of the distance and traffic, we made sure that we left the apartment way early to avoid being late. Turned out, we were too early. While mom and the others stayed in the car, I went ahead to the church, eager and excited. The chapel was situated in the middle of an expensive village and you can really see from its interior and exterior that it was not a mere chapel, but more of an expensive church. When I got in, there was a wedding. Actually, the wedding just started when I got in. No, it wasn't my cousin's wedding yet. It was another couple's wedding and I attended the whole ceremony since it was airconditioned inside. It was more relaxing inside attending someone else's wedding than staying outside and waiting for the next wedding to start.

The wedding, my cousin's, went as scheduled and boy what a wedding it was. Everything was perfect. I was assigned to be the Commentator in the mass. Good thing there was a misalette which served as my guide or else, I would have missed a few please all stand's and amen's.

The reception was one of the grandest I've ever been into. The food, the music, and most people were great. But what made the evening more special was the speech of Tito Nardy, the bride's father. It was something not prepared but everyone who heard the speech became emotional. It was one of those speeches that you can feel came from the heart. It was actually the highlight of the reception. For me personally, my highlight was to meet cousins of my cousins who I haven't met yet before.

Before the reception ended, I met one of my classmates in elementary and high school who's now a movie star, Marco Alcaraz, who introduced me to his friend, Precious Lara Quigaman, who was very beautiful in person. No wonder she represented the country in the Miss Universe pageant a few years back. I would have wanted to have my picture taken with them since it's been centuries since Marco and I last saw each other, but my aunt kept on bugging me to get her bag from the car. Too bad Marco and Lara were no longer around when I got back.

After the reception, I went with my cousin to a place called Fiamma. I don't know if I spelled that right, but it turned out, it was a bar with a lot of people, dressed-up people, drinking, dancing and socializing. Being the anti-social that I am sometimes, I decided not to go into the bar with them. Instead, I explored Manila and walked and walked and walked.

I decided to go home when I thought of no place to go to. I passed by a 24-hour noodle store, ate breakfast (it was already early dawn), and went home.

Manila - First Day

Our flight was at 9:45 AM from Cebu, and we arrived in Manila at around lunch time. We were so hungry because PAL just served water. We realized that those passengers who took advantage of the promo rates for Philippine Airlines were assigned to the last rows of the plane. Mom and I were assigned to the very last row. Not only that, because our tickets were cheaper (promo), we were not included in the meal.. er.. snacks on board. The attendants just passed by us when they served snacks. They only served a cup of water.

From the airport, Tito Roy decided for us to ride a one-time-one-way-rent-a-car and paid 950 pesos from the airport to Sampaloc where the apartment was. My grandfolks, tito, tita and cousins were already at the apartment when we arrived. After a few minutes of kamustahan, we walked towards SM San Lazaro, around 300 meters away from the apartment, and had lunch at Savory something. We, the younger ones, were at a different table than the seniors, and we just ate whatever they ordered for us. The food just came and came and came. Whoa! That's what I call a full meal!

After lunch, half of the group went to another mall while I went with the group who were going to the hotel. We were standing at the sidewalk waiting for my tita and waiting for a taxi to take us to Edsa Shangrila Plaza for almost two hours that my allergies struck me because of the extreme heat of the sun and the dust in the wind. Almost immediately, I got colds and sore throat.

We met up with my other cousins at the hotel including the bride-to-be and her Prince Charming. He was a little charming, yes. I went room raiding the whole afternoon. The Mindanao Suite was the best room I've seen so far. I heard it costs around 25 thousand pesos per day. I know it's kinda expensive, but it was worth it. It's like two separate rooms in that one suite, and it's fully furnished.

We ate dinner at the mall beside the hotel, and all these times, they were convincing me to sleep at the hotel because the apartment was kinda far. I told everyone that I'm going to go home to the apartment for the evening even if it's really warm there because my mom's there and she'll be alone if I don't go back. Finally, everyone understood my decision to go but wasn't sure how I'm going to do it simply because I didn't know anything about going around Manila.

After assuring them that I'm going to be okay, and that I'm not going to give away to the driver that I really don't know the way back to the apartment, they let me go. I went back to the apartment and slept with mom in one room, while Tito Roy and Tita Nanette were at another. The location of the apartment itself is exposed to the heat and dust, and they removed the aircon when they renovated the place. Yes, Tito Roy who spent the last 30 years of his life in Detroit, and I were forced to sleep with just a small electric fan.

And yes, right there and then we promised that we will be staying at a pension house at least if and when we'll be going back to Manila.

Manila Here I Come!

In less than 7 hours, my plane leaves for Manila where I have not been for centuries. I haven't even slept, and I don't know if I can sleep thinking about my short rest (again, I can't call it a vacation) in Manila. I will try to make the most of it, even if I don't have money to spend. I hope to finally see friends who I have not met in person yet. I hope to take pictures, LOTS of pictures. I hope to just forget about the pressures of work for 3 days and enjoy in a place that is not Cebu for a change.

Fickle

I hurriedly went home after shift this morning because mom told me last night that I would have to take my daughter to school today. Usually, it's either her mother or her yaya who takes her to school the rest of the week, while it will be my turn every time I'm on day-off. Because her mom and yaya are busy, I was asked if I could bring her to school today. No problem.

I went home early and prepared. An hour before going to school, mom told me that my dad volunteered to take Katrina to school instead and he just wanted me to sleep because I still have work tonight. What a savior! Wrong! While I was about to sleep, mom again went to our room and said that the savior changed his mind, and he's just going to take us to the corner of our village, and I still have to take Katrina to school.

There's no problem with me taking my daughter to school. That's something that I enjoy doing. It's just somewhat annoying to have someone who brags a lot about how he weighs everything before making a decision make a.. well, a hurried decision without thinking it over, and that change of mind, no matter how small it is, affects some people.

Well, my father is well-known in our family as the most fickle-minded so it's really no surprise come to think of it.

What Will Matter

Ready or not, some day it will all come to an end.

There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours or days.All the things you collected, whether treasured or forgottenwill pass to someone else.

Your wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance.It will not matter what you owned or what you were owed.Your grudges, resentments, frustrationsand jealousies will finally disappear.So too, your hopes, ambitions, plans and to-do lists will expire.The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away.

It won't matter where you came fromor what side of the tracks you lived on at the end.It won't matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant.Even your gender and skin color will be irrelevant.

So what will matter?How will the value of your days be measured?

What will matter is not what you boughtbut what you built, not what you got but what you gave.

What will matter is not your successbut your significance.

What will matter is not what you learnedbut what you taught.

What will matter is every act of integrity,compassion, courage, or sacrificethat enriched, empowered or encouraged othersto emulate your example.

What will matter is not your competencebut your character.

What will matter is not how many people you knew,but how many will feel a lasting loss when your gone.

What will matter is not your memoriesbut the memories that live in those who loved you.

What will matter is how long you will be remembered,by whom and for what.

Living a life that matters doesn't happen by accident.It's not a matter of circumstance but of choice.

Choose to live a life that matters.

- Michael Josephson

Happy Independence Day

Happy Independence Day to all Filipinos all around the world. Let us thank those who came before us who fought so our country would be free. They are our heroes whose names and stories will live on for our children and our children's children.

I would also like to thank my own personal heroes, without whom I would not be where I am today. My parents, the yin & yang of my life, the balance why I am what I am; my wife and my daughter, my reasons, my future, my songs; my soul siblings, they made growing up fun and full of love; my uncles and aunts, my teachers through the years, my classmates, my officemates... well, some of them, my teammates, and my friends who have been with me through the good times and the not-so-good. I rarely tell you how much I appreciate you, but I do.

You are my life's heroes.

Gameboy

My officemate returned the Gameboy because her mom in the States told her to. Her mom had actually bought her a PSP already, she just wasn't able to send it yet. I'm happy for her and her new PSP, and I welcome back my Gameboy. Back to being really broke from just broke. *sigh*

I'm at our office internet cafe now waiting for my badminton pals. At least two new faces would be joining us today, something to look forward to. I really hope our unofficial badminton club will become official soon... that is if I'm still around to be a part of it. As I mentioned in my previous blog, I've sent in a couple of applications to different companies, and if they'll take those applications seriously, or at least one of them will, then I'll seriously think about transferring.

Still Broke

My trip to Manila is getting closer and closer and I'm still broke. Today is payday but I didn't get that much since I failed in Quality for this pay period. A teammate of mine bought my brand new Nokia 1202 and my GameBoy Micro, but it's like a two-gives thingie so I still don't have enough money for my trip. On the brighter side though, at least I have something to look forward to.

We planned to go on badminton again tomorrow morning and videoke in the evening, but now I'm not so sure anymore. Well, for badminton it's only a hundred bucks for the whole day so I guess I can go, but for the videoke, I guess I have to take a rain check on that. Just can't afford extra expenses these days.

And yeah, I already sent two applications to two different companies. If I'll be lucky enough, I will be moving on because as much as I love the company I'm in now, and as much I love my officemates and the bond that we have, we're just not earning that much anymore here ever since our old account has been taken over by the new account. Now if I was just single and by myself, I would suck it all up and stay, but I'm not. I have a family to feed and a daughter to send to school. It sucks to again leave and start anew with another company if ever, but that's reality.

*sigh*

Paraiso

One of the best songs I've heard in my life is Paraiso. The song never fails to bring tears to my eyes whenever I hear it, and I'm sure I'm not alone. This is the same song we interpreted in Grade 6 where we were the only elementary finalists in our school's interpretative dance contest. Turned out, it was no-contest at all. We won by a mile, and made the judges and the audience cry.

The beautiful song was composed by the Maestro himself, Ryan Cayabyab. It's the very first song he composed for the group he formed a long time ago, Smokey Mountain. According to Mr. C, "This is the very theme song of that group – named after what used to be a garbage dump in Tondo, the lyrics speak of a dark and dreary environment where scavengers are free to make what they get from the garbage pile. But that does not make them any less free to imagine, any less free to hope, and any less free to dream. It is an inspirational song that I had dedicated not only to marginalized folks but especially to young people who have hopes and dreams of a better future."

A lot of artists have their versions of Paraiso including a heartwarming version by Lea Salonga. Although all the other versions are okay, the Smokey Mountain's version is still the best for me, most especially their 1992 performance in the Tokyo Pop Music Festival where they won the Grand Prize.

Thank you Mr. C for this most beautiful song.

I Asked God..

I asked God for Strength… And God gave me
Difficulties to make me strong.

I asked for Wisdom… And God have me
Problems to solve.

I asked for Prosperity… And God gave me
Brain and Brawn to work.

I asked for Courage… And God gave me
Danger to Overcome.

I asked for Love… And God gave me
Troubled people to help.
I asked for Favors… And God gave me
Opportunities.

I received Nothing I wanted.

I received Everything I needed.

Life Explained

On the first day God created the cow. God said, "You must go to field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years." The cow said, "That's a kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty years and I'll give back the other forty." And God agreed.

On the second day, God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years." The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll give back the other ten." So God agreed (sigh).

On the third day God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I'll give you a twenty year life span." Monkey said, "How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?" And God agreed again.

On the fourth day God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play, enjoy. Do nothing, just enjoy, enjoy. I'll give you twenty years." Man said, "What? Only twenty years? No way man. Tell you what, I'll take my twenty, and the forty cow gave back, and the ten dog gave back and the ten monkey gave back. That makes eighty, okay?" "Okay," said God. "You've got a deal."

So that is why for the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, enjoy, and do nothing. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family; for the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain our grandchildren; and for the last ten years we sit in front of the house and bark at everybody. Life has now been explained. Ahhh.....

Holes in the Fence

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence...

Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The day passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, "You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is still there." A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one…

We must always be aware never to hurt anyone, most especially those who are close to our hearts because once hurt, the pain may go away, but the scar will always be there.

The Paradox of Our Time

A beautiful piece by George Carlin...

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter temper; wider freeways, but shorter viewpoints; we spend more, but have less. We have bigger houses but smaller families; more conveniences, but less time;

We have more degrees, but less sense; more knowledge, but less judgment; more experts, yet more problems; more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.

We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often; we’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life; we’ve added years to life, but not life to years. We’ve been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor; we conquered outer space but not inner space; we’ve done larger things, but not better things. We’ve cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul; we've conquered the atom, but not prejudice; we write more but learn less; we’ve learned to rush but not to wait. We’ve built more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are times of fast food and slow digestion; big men and small character; steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throw-away morality, one-night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer to quiet to kill. It is a time where there is much in the show window and nothing in the stock room.

Remember, spend more time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because soon that little person will grow up and leave your side. Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart that doesn’t cost a cent.

Remember, to say "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all… mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you. Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment, for someday, that person will not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak, give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind...

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Starting Badminton

I would like to thank Rey Marie, Aubrey Mae and Mimi, for the wonderful badminton experience today. It has been centuries since I last played badminton, and it was the first time I played in a real badminton court. I'm so love with the sport already that I'm even planning to put up a badminton club at the office, if ever there's none yet.

I'm loving badminton because it's a great workout. It makes you sweat a lot while forcing you to move your whole body, and the best thing is that it won't feel like you're really working out. You're just really playing and enjoying yourself, and working out at the same time.

We plan to make this at least a once a week activity, and I'm looking forward to next Thursday already. I really think badminton is a sport I can excel at after retiring from basketball. And if ever my regular badminton exercise would be able to help me trim down, I would want to make a comeback to basketball someday.

Unchanging Love

My greatest musical influence, Martin Nievera's wedding gift for Ryan and Judy Ann. I so love the lyrics and melody of this song...

Can Anyone love you like I do

It must have been fate that brought you here

A dream come true

No other love can make me feel this way

No other love for me but you

So now, as we go down this road

Forever will be, you and me

With a song and our prayer

Our biggest fears are far behind us now

So we can love eternally

There were days you won't believe

That I was meant for you and you for me

Time has come to make our hearts one

I found the love and now our life has begun

Life has begun

Unchanging Love, like a song

It can never change the way I feel

Every love song brings you back to me

With you in my heart

We can start a journey

To our destiny we'll see

That conquers all when you're with me

We can make it with unchanging love

You are the one that heaven sent to me

We are one heart, one soul, will always be

I'll love you more I did before

The day you walked into my life

Now our love today takes flight
There were days you won't believe

That I was meant for you and you for me

The time has come to make our hearts one

I found the love and now our life has begun

Life has begun

Unchanging Love, like a song

It can never change the way I feel

Every love song brings you back to me

With you in my heart

We can start a journey

To our destiny we'll see

That conquers all when you're with me

We can make it with unchanging love

You are what's best in me

We're strong

We've had it all when we're together

If you can show your love

We can make it and show them all

Forever and ever and ever

Unchanging Love, like a song

It can never change the way I feel

Every love song brings you back to me

With you in my heart

We can start a journey

To our destiny we'll see

That conquers all when you're with me

We can make it with unchanging love

Setback

Two weeks before my visit to Manila, we're experiencing a sort of setback: I don't think I will have allowance to bring to Manila.

Well, it's not really a big setback as we already have the tickets and a place to stay, I just thought that I would be so helpless in those days I will be there if I will have nothing in my pocket. How can I see my friends when I won't even have budget for transportation? How can I go to the malls or anywhere else when I won't have resources to even buy snacks?

Our trip to Manila is in-between paydays and I'm sure my pay will already have disappeared on those days when we'll be there because this month, we're paying for my daughter's tuition fee as well as my wife's processings fees for her to be able to go abroad.

Right now, I'm trying to sell my Gameboy Micro, a brand new unit I haven't used yet, and my Nokia 1202. I'm selling them at their original prices because right now, I just need the money.

*sigh*

Congratulations Orlando Magic

My Cleveland Cavaliers were eliminated in 6 games by the Orlando Magic. The Magic will now face the Los Angeles Kobes.. er.. Lakers in the NBA Finals that will start on June 4. The Cavs' dream season has ended and they will again have to wait for another season to try and capture that elusive championship. Lebron James may be the best player, but it was the Magic who was the better team, at least this year. My hats-off to my fellow Superman, Dwight Howard and the rest of the Magic team. Nothing to be ashamed of for the Cavs as we lost to a better team. King James is just 24 years young and I'm sure his not-so-supporting cast learned their painful lesson. Bron Bron cannot carry his team all the time. He may put the team on his back and carry them a few times, but we cannot expect him to carry them in every single game. Basketball is not a 5-0n -1 contest.

As the Magic take on the Lakers, I will be rooting for Orlando. I hate Kobe and the Lakers too much, and the Magic earned my respect and admiration during the Eastern Conference Finals.

Go Magic! Beat LA! Beat LA!

As for my beloved Cavaliers, there will always be a next time. That's one good thing about life, there is always a second chance.