Outside Looking In

It's funny when you find yourself

Lookin' from the outside

I'm standing here but all I want

Is to be over there

Why did I let myself believe

Miracles could happen

Cause now I have to pretend

That I don't really care..

Those lines from the song, When there was Me and You from High School Musical sums up my present feelings, at least with the people from Kindred Hearts. Maybe because I'm a boring person, someone that's invisible, I'm out of the loop with regards their activities and gigs. I don't want to be a special someone where everyone will be telling me their whereabouts, but I do get "lost" general messages that they had a great time, and stuff, which means they all knew about the activities of the group.

Is this a sign that I'm not really welcome? I've never had any pretensions ever since, and I've always showed who and what I am. Now if that's a bad thing, then let it be. At least I don't regret being myself with them. If they think I'm too old (29's old?) or too boring to be with them, then I can't do anything about that. I am who I am, what you see is what you get.

Yes, I am on the outside looking in.. but if they don't want me to be in there, I won't force myself. I have a life to live, boring it may be to a lot of people, it still is a life I have to live for the sake of my family, my wife, daughter, my soul siblings. At least they've accepted me for what and who I am.